Various Artists - Nerd Alert! (2xVinyl)

And while you might expect that a whole line up of dweebs, dorks, and pencil-necks would involve a whole lot of awkward shuffling, instead, we’re proud to say, every last one of these smarties absolutely kills: Brynildson, our emcee, name-drops Star Trek’s Guinan and Andy Erikson sweetly suggests the best possible deli name (“Viet NomNomNom,” for the record), while Chris Knutson admits that he has to dress up as a superhero for his day job… and that’s not even the humiliating part. Brandi Brown reveals her secret past as a would-be beauty queen, Bryan Miller shares his favorite existentialist children’s book and all the nerd porn titles anyone could hope for, respectable Gus Lynch somehow ends up earning the nickname “Anal Shock!” and yes, Amber Preston insists she would drop it if it was hot, because that seems like the safe way to go. Bill Young and Nate Abshire, on the other hand, have gained profound wisdom: nerds did grow up to run things, just maybe not the important ones, and the Bible might be the best fantasy novel ever written. Rounding out the night, James Moore protests the injustice of sports nerds getting to be “cool,” Patrick Ryan Bauer gets real with the color choices of 90s-era Marvel Comics, Pat Susmilch examines the internal logic of Super Mario Brothers, and Mike Brody sends the dirtiest unintentional text message ever created.

With the shared worldview of the once-bullied, now-adored, and ever-elusive North American nerd, but thirteen distinct (and distinctly off-kilter) angles on it, this is one Stand Up! Records release that’s sure to please everybody. That said, get ‘em while the getting’s good: we’ve got 500 CDs and 100 limited edition LPs for all those salivating vinyl nerds.