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Robert Kelly - Live (download)

Robert Kelly - Live (download)

$9.00
This product includes a compressed (.ZIP) folder containing .mp3 audio files and a .jpg image of the album art. After purchasing you will receive an email within 5 minutes with a link to your download.

Some things get instant reactions: even your best friend springing unexpectedly out of a closet will give you temporary Downs Syndrome. Other stuff takes a second, like that tiny moment when a kid falls, assesses the situation, and makes the decision between laughing and crying (unless he’s the kind who’s become immune to spankings… and maybe even finds them a little titillating). And at least one really fantastic thing takes just under an hour: Robert Kelly Live, the Stand Up! Records reissue of Kelly’s 2003 break out CD. In a fast-paced forty-five minutes of pure live comedy, Kelly seemingly distills the entirety of Boston (and a few Northeastern suburbs) into one acerbic, silly, accent-studded, filthy-mouthed, set chock full of real life truths (depending on how much time you’ve spent in businesses that involve revealing your “krypto-nuts” at one point or another). From the first track to the last, his audience is absolutely in the palm of this pro’s hand. Whether it’s in commiserating over dry-humping related injuries, teaching the crowd how best to terrify fellow motorists, or pinpointing the precise, mathematically calculated best laid phrases (“draped over me like a wet piece of meat,” “Osama bloopers,” and “Touch it–Easy Pass!” all kill when Kelly’s on the mic), Kelly’s at his best when his exhilarating clip and Massachusetts candor get away with him. This is to say, if you’re not amped up and laughed-out by the time you finish “Robert Kelly Live,” it’s not Kelly’s fault–that’s on you.

Track Listing

  1. Massachusetts
  2. New York Smells
  3. Dog Kaka
  4. Toll Booth
  5. Happy to Hate
  6. California Sucks
  7. Mexican Dishwasher
  8. Spanish Girls
  9. Accents Turn Me On
  10. Happy Ending
  11. Smart People Suck
  12. Naps
  13. Video Games
  14. F**k Dolphins
  15. Day Off From School
  16. Osama
  17. Tanning Salon
  18. Piss the Pants Monster
  19. Mother is Psycho
  20. Raking Leaves
  21. Food
  22. Boogie Bubble
  23. Women Are Evil
  24. Love Being a Guy
  25. Whatever
  26. Silent Fight
  27. Baby Talk
  28. Punch Buggy
  29. Kissing
  30. Dry Humping
  31. Women Like Sex, Too
  32. Big Dick Day
  33. Sleeping Together
  34. One Thumb Massage
  35. Girls Undone
  36. I Didn't Know Women Sh**
  37. Where Do Women Pee From?
  38. Pleasing a Woman is Hard

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